Something that has always been very dear to my heart is the issue surrounding relationships and disabilities. I know MANY people with disabilities who are single because they don't feel attractive or have never been noticed by someone else. The results of these situations can be devastating.
The connection between death and teens who are not heterosexual is rising - and the awareness about it is rising, too. What society doesn't know is that disabled teens, and even adults, who do not feel capable of ever having an intimate relationship could end up going down the same path, and some already have.
I know about this battle from personal experience. As if high school wasn't hard enough, it was even harder for me because of my disability. My disability is visual - you can see the differences - and this made me stand out from the crowd. Although I did have a few relationships, I was never "asked out" by anyone. I always started the relationship, and to be honest, I always ended up with guys who were willing to be with me, but I didn't find them attractive or have an urge to date them. So, for a long time I bounced around, dating guys who were all wrong for me; but, I was somewhat satisfied because I was grateful that I didn't go through high school without dating at all. I look back now and wish that I didn't bounce around so much, but many of the disabled people that I come across have gone through this same phase because we are so desperate to feel loved and wanted.
Disabled people need to learn how to feel confident about themselves, first and foremost. No one wants to date a person who is constantly talking about how ugly they are and how much they hate themself. People want to be around and date people who are positive and fun to be with. Once disabled people learn this positivity and confidence, then and only then can they start to think about dating. This was definitely one of my problems. I always complained to friends about not being able to find a partner due to my disability (and to all of you who dealt with me during that time, I am truly sorry).
Another important detail is not to feel that you can only date another disabled person when you yourself are also disabled. There are so many people in the world, and if you only pay attention to a very small group, you are limiting yourself to other options. I've found this to be true among many of my disabled friends.
And for all of the non-disabled people out there, the same rules apply. If you limit yourself to dating only people who are white and blonde like yourself, you are limiting your dating possibilities. This is not to say that you should only explore people who are unlike yourself; rather, you should be willing to keep your mind open to anyone.
Lastly, and this is very cliche, but, you must not openly look for a partner all day, everyday. Love truly can find you when you least expect it.
As I say throughout every website that Disability Awareness 4 You has, COMMUNICATE! Communication is a great way to meet someone. Talk with your friends, old and new, and you never know what might happen. If you don't communicate, you will never meet new people and are thus limiting yourself and all of your dating possibilities.
If this post helped you, let me know. I would be more than willing to post more articles about dating and disabilities. (I didn't want to overkill it.)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Disability Highlight: Visual Impairments
Until I came to college, I was unaware of visual impairments that were more severe than poor eye sight, but not as severe as being completely blind.
I now know four people who have visual impairments at KU. Some of them use the aid of white canes or guide dogs, and some of them do not. It just depends on a case-by-case basis. So many disabilities follow this theory, which is why no one--not even someone with a disability--can ever really understand the complexities of another person's disability. Never assume you know what a person is going through and never assume that you know what they can and cannot do because it varies with each individual.
People with visual impairments have a range of accommodations that are made for them in certain situations. For example, the most common accommodation among students with visual impairments is that they sometimes require texts to be larger in format. Other helpful accommodations for students with visual impairments are:
I now know four people who have visual impairments at KU. Some of them use the aid of white canes or guide dogs, and some of them do not. It just depends on a case-by-case basis. So many disabilities follow this theory, which is why no one--not even someone with a disability--can ever really understand the complexities of another person's disability. Never assume you know what a person is going through and never assume that you know what they can and cannot do because it varies with each individual.
People with visual impairments have a range of accommodations that are made for them in certain situations. For example, the most common accommodation among students with visual impairments is that they sometimes require texts to be larger in format. Other helpful accommodations for students with visual impairments are:
- They may need to be seated closer to the front of the classroom so they can see the chalkboard.
- They may be affected by very bright lights, so warning them of any is helpful.
- Verbal instructions and details are beneficial to a student whose eye sight is very poor.
- Tactile familiarization with a classroom or other detailed areas of a room or objects can help a student with a visual impairment be an equal alongside the other students in their class.
These helpful hints may seem only applicable to people who are blind; however, it should be noted that people with visual impairments need accommodations, too, and they should be allowed to receive the same rights to accessibility throughout their life.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Disability Highlight: Social Disabilities
This post and future posts will highlight certain disabilities (in this case, social disabilities) as a way to increase awareness about these specific impairments. Feel free to comment on this post, or e-mail me via my website: http://www.disabilityawareness4you.wordpress.com/.
My biggest complaint regarding disabilities comes when people who are "normal" judge people who appear to also be "normal," when in fact, they do not know if those people really are "normal."
So many disabilities are not visible to the naked eye, including people with social disabilities. People with these impairments have various levels when it comes to understanding social norms. Every society and culture has social norms, and sometimes people with social disabilities have a hard time picking up on the cues sent out by these cultures. For this reason, sometimes people judge without knowing that those people have no control over their level of understanding.
So, next time you see someone who doesn't seem "normal" or understanding of social cues, don't judge them. We all have disabilities/impairments, and shouldn't be judged because of them.
Some of the most common social disabilities include, but are not limited to:
* Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD) - A group of disorders characterized by delays in the development of socialization and communication skills. Parents may note symptoms as early as infancy, although the typical age of onset is before 3 years of age. Symptoms may include problems with using and understanding language; difficulty relating to people, objects, and events; unusual play with toys and other objects; difficulty with changes in routine or familiar surroundings, and repetitive body movements or behavior patterns. Children with PDD vary widely in abilities, intelligence, and behaviors. Some children do not speak at all, others speak in limited phrases or conversations, and some have relatively normal language development. Repetitive play skills and limited social skills are generally evident. Unusual responses to sensory information, such as loud noises and lights, are also common.
credit: http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/pdd/pdd.htm
* Autism (the spectrum) - As defined by the Autism Society of America (ASA): Autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and is the result of a neurological disorder that affects the normal functioning of the brain, impacting development in the areas of social interaction and communication skills. Both children and adults with autism typically show difficulties in verbal and non-verbal communication, social interactions, and leisure or play activities. Autism is one of five disorders that falls under the umbrella of Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD), a category of neurological disorders characterized by “severe and pervasive impairment in several areas of development."
credit: http://www.definitionofautism.com/
* Asperger's Syndrome - Asperger's syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects a child's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Children with Asperger's syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics. Asperger's syndrome is generally thought to be at the milder end of the Autism spectrum.
credit: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/aspergers-syndrome/DS00551
* Tourette syndrome (TS) - An inherited disorder of the nervous system, characterized by a variable expression of unwanted movements and noises (tics).
credit: http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Tourette+syndrome
* ADD/ADHD - A syndrome, usually diagnosed in childhood, characterized by a persistent pattern of impulsiveness, a short attention span, and sometimes hyperactivity, and interfering especially with academic, occupational, and social performance.
credit: http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/ADD+or+ADHD
I hope that you learned more about social disabilities from this blog post. Please e-mail me or comment here if you have any comments, thoughts, or suggestions regarding this post.
My biggest complaint regarding disabilities comes when people who are "normal" judge people who appear to also be "normal," when in fact, they do not know if those people really are "normal."
So many disabilities are not visible to the naked eye, including people with social disabilities. People with these impairments have various levels when it comes to understanding social norms. Every society and culture has social norms, and sometimes people with social disabilities have a hard time picking up on the cues sent out by these cultures. For this reason, sometimes people judge without knowing that those people have no control over their level of understanding.
So, next time you see someone who doesn't seem "normal" or understanding of social cues, don't judge them. We all have disabilities/impairments, and shouldn't be judged because of them.
Some of the most common social disabilities include, but are not limited to:
* Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD) - A group of disorders characterized by delays in the development of socialization and communication skills. Parents may note symptoms as early as infancy, although the typical age of onset is before 3 years of age. Symptoms may include problems with using and understanding language; difficulty relating to people, objects, and events; unusual play with toys and other objects; difficulty with changes in routine or familiar surroundings, and repetitive body movements or behavior patterns. Children with PDD vary widely in abilities, intelligence, and behaviors. Some children do not speak at all, others speak in limited phrases or conversations, and some have relatively normal language development. Repetitive play skills and limited social skills are generally evident. Unusual responses to sensory information, such as loud noises and lights, are also common.
credit: http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/pdd/pdd.htm
* Autism (the spectrum) - As defined by the Autism Society of America (ASA): Autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and is the result of a neurological disorder that affects the normal functioning of the brain, impacting development in the areas of social interaction and communication skills. Both children and adults with autism typically show difficulties in verbal and non-verbal communication, social interactions, and leisure or play activities. Autism is one of five disorders that falls under the umbrella of Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD), a category of neurological disorders characterized by “severe and pervasive impairment in several areas of development."
credit: http://www.definitionofautism.com/
* Asperger's Syndrome - Asperger's syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects a child's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Children with Asperger's syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics. Asperger's syndrome is generally thought to be at the milder end of the Autism spectrum.
credit: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/aspergers-syndrome/DS00551
* Tourette syndrome (TS) - An inherited disorder of the nervous system, characterized by a variable expression of unwanted movements and noises (tics).
credit: http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Tourette+syndrome
* ADD/ADHD - A syndrome, usually diagnosed in childhood, characterized by a persistent pattern of impulsiveness, a short attention span, and sometimes hyperactivity, and interfering especially with academic, occupational, and social performance.
credit: http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/ADD+or+ADHD
I hope that you learned more about social disabilities from this blog post. Please e-mail me or comment here if you have any comments, thoughts, or suggestions regarding this post.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)