Dating and Disabilities

Something that has always been very dear to my heart is the issue surrounding relationships and disabilities. I know MANY people with disabilities who are single because they don't feel attractive or have never been noticed by someone else. The results of these situations can be devastating.

The connection between death and teens who are not heterosexual is rising - and the awareness about it is rising, too. What society doesn't know is that disabled teens, and even adults, who do not feel capable of ever having an intimate relationship could end up going down the same path, and some already have.

I know about this battle from personal experience. As if high school wasn't hard enough, it was even harder for me because of my disability. My disability is visual - you can see the differences - and this made me stand out from the crowd. Although I did have a few relationships, I was never "asked out" by anyone. I always started the relationship, and to be honest, I always ended up with guys who were willing to be with me, but I didn't find them attractive or have an urge to date them. So, for a long time I bounced around, dating guys who were all wrong for me; but, I was somewhat satisfied because I was grateful that I didn't go through high school without dating at all. I look back now and wish that I didn't bounce around so much, but many of the disabled people that I come across have gone through this same phase because we are so desperate to feel loved and wanted.
Disabled people need to learn how to feel confident about themselves, first and foremost. No one wants to date a person who is constantly talking about how ugly they are and how much they hate themself. People want to be around and date people who are positive and fun to be with. Once disabled people learn this positivity and confidence, then and only then can they start to think about dating. This was definitely one of my problems. I always complained to friends about not being able to find a partner due to my disability (and to all of you who dealt with me during that time, I am truly sorry).

Another important detail is not to feel that you can only date another disabled person when you yourself are also disabled. There are so many people in the world, and if you only pay attention to a very small group, you are limiting yourself to other options. I've found this to be true among many of my disabled friends.

And for all of the non-disabled people out there, the same rules apply. If you limit yourself to dating only people who are white and blonde like yourself, you are limiting your dating possibilities. This is not to say that you should only explore people who are unlike yourself; rather, you should be willing to keep your mind open to anyone.

Lastly, and this is very cliche, but, you must not openly look for a partner all day, everyday. Love truly can find you when you least expect it.

As I say throughout every website that Disability Awareness 4 You has, COMMUNICATE! Communication is a great way to meet someone. Talk with your friends, old and new, and you never know what might happen. If you don't communicate, you will never meet new people and are thus limiting yourself and all of your dating possibilities.

If this post helped you, let me know. I would be more than willing to post more articles about dating and disabilities. (I didn't want to overkill it.)